- SNL Weekend Update with Senator Palin!
McCain’s choice in running mate is hill-lair-rious!
- Pour Some Suge On Me
Surprise. Surprise. Suge Knight is arrested. Again. Honestly, I am sorry to hear about his girlfriend’s beat down but what the hell was she thinking? “Oh - I’m gonna change him cuz I’m special?”
- Akeelah and the Ball
All I am saying is, its nice that folks are working. Ice Cube is “keeping it real, keeping it raw” alongside Keke Palmer in this summer’s smash hit, #1 black comedy based on a sport summer movie, “The Longshots”. As Dre would say “been there, done that”.
- Seriously! WTF! WTF!
“Clinton’s Name Will Be Put in Nomination?” Seriously? She lost fair and square. If Clinton wins. If Obama loses. (now its a possibility - I’ve seen enough political thriller movies to know) I will personally get on a plane, fly to Illinois, rent a car from Enterprise, drive out and bitch slap Barack. And I will double bitch slap Michelle for not keeping her man in line.
You would never, ever see some white politician “feel bad” and kowtow like this to the opposing party.
- Very Graceful, Camera Girl
This shit is hilarious. I’m reading the LA Times blog on the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter video tapes. That line is far more humorous than the Edwards’ “Ken Doll” comment.
- WTF? Holy Sh*t…..
Were the Arsonists exact reactions when hearing that Bernie died this morning.
While not a huge Bernie fan there was something comforting about knowing that a seemingly run- of -the -mill guy was out there hob-nobbing with Brad Pitt and George Clooney in Hollywood movies. Bernie even held down the lead in a couple of his own flicks including a romantic comedy masquerading as a sports movie. That would be Mr. 3000. for the film purists out there.
The Arsonist had more than a chuckle on a few of Bernie’s stand up routines. In particular his “I’ll fuck a kid up” routine. As often, The Arsonist feels like doing these little cretins in too.
Bernie had a comedy classic in him somewhere. Wish we could have seen him get the chance to make it.
- Young, Ungifted and Stupid
Marketing these days is completely beyond the pale. But The Arsonist has never understood todays measure of success in any reasonable fashion anyway.
This “Be Kanye” brain trust is the latest example of things run amok.
While the The Arsonist is in favor of the 40 Year Old Virgin credo of tackling “drunk bitches”, one would figure that Kanye doesn’t need to “cougar it up” as it is implied in this ridiculous campaign from Absolut vodka.
When Jay-Z and them started getting their own vodka’s, you know the people at Absolut must have been laughing their asses off.
But judging by this complete capitulation to pop culture the only thing that comes to mind is, who’s laughing now bitches.
- Life After Film School
Here I am, enjoying Hulu, until one program thoroughly pisses me off. Have you checked out “Life After Film School”. Can’t we at least PRETEND that black or female filmmakers matter? Where the hell is “token”? Are you telling me that Spike said no to publicity? Sheet. Exactly what stories could Kevin Bacon share that would be more educational and entertaining than say, Marcia Gay Harden? KB, I’m sure you’re proud of your Teen Choice Award, but its not quite the same as an Oscar.
I’ll bet you one “person” knows of every black filmmaker who went to film school: Sallie Mae.
- There’s Something About Farv-ver-rer
There’s only two things I remember that were funny in that Farrelly Bros movie (sorry, kids, I just wasn’t a fan). The “hair gel” and Brett Farve - more specifically, all attempts to say his last name. I think its lovely that he has chosen the NY (aren’t they NJ?) Jets as his final resting place.
What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
What did I tell you? I’m a Giants Fan.
- Motown, Been Mowed Down
(No surprise that both the Arsonist and I rushed to comment on Kwame)
I have an impeccable eye for real estate. Mark my words, Detroit is a good investment. The main reason it is such a pile of crap at the moment is thanks to their Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick. Well - Mr Kwame (why does that name make me think of hip hop circa 1989 and polka dotted shirts?) has been thrown in jail. And if Sharpe James (yet another black mayor in lockdown. Sheesh!) and the turn around in Newark is any indication, then Motown has plenty of possibilities. Let’s thank the Detroit Free Press for this amusing article, “Mayors sent to jail while in office.” What a read!
- Bucket Of Chicken Defense
As a kid, nearly every summer The Arsonist was loaded into somebodys Lincoln, Caddy or Electra 225 with several family members and we would make our way from the north to the south. As if on a pilgrimage.
I remember the summer of 78′ was when The Arsonist bought an eight track tape of Bootzilla from a guy carrying them around in a cardboard box. It wasn’t til the 90’s that it was apparent to me that he was a bootleger. He had always been a hero to the Arsonist. Bootsy too, but thats because he was “maker of funky things to play with”
Some of the family was less fortunate than others. So one half of the family would have homemade fried chicken to travel with and the other half would stop at KFC, which was known as Kentucky Fried Chicken at time, and pick up a bucket of chicken. For whatever reason this bucket of chicken seemed to last forever. I don’t think they counted how many pieces they put in back in the 70’s they just shoved as much as they could in a bucket. Either that or they knew when they saw 5 adults and 4 children spill out of an American luxury car in the parking lot, that they better feed these people well or see them again on the way back.
- Go somewhere and chill!
The Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick just can’t get right. Ordered to Jail on bond violation.
What the hell is in Canada that’s so important.
The Arsonist has been to Canada. Except for some signs in french, reminds me alot of…..America.
- Missing From Google?
Ok. Let’s say I have this friend. She likes to google herself when she’s bored. This certain friend on a whim yahoo’d herself and found content that google does not have. She even copied the headline article she found through Yahoo, put it in quotes and googled it and received an error message. “Did not match any documents”. Am I the only one, I mean, is my friend the only one who has noticed that Google is not all that and a biscuit? Any IT people out there want to explain what is going on?
ps And no, she doesn’t feel blacklisted like some folks, but does find it curious.
- When You Think Voiceover
When the Hallmark Channel does a biopic of my life, I am expecting Morgan Freeman to do the voice-over. He’s a very youthful 71 and sounds more like God, then, uh God. (yes, I would know). I am hoping for his speedy recovery from a recent car accident. so he can get back to what he does best (interracial buddy movies and playing God). And as much as I love a good conspiracy, Oliver Stone should pause before taking on the Obama Hollywood Supporters Accident Conspiracy!!! (say with echo voice).
Note to LA Times, this is a far stretch from “All The Presidents Men”
- The Fear Factor
The media’s incessant desire to scare the shit out of us is precisely why I hate the media (technically, I am also part of the “media” but let’s over look that for a minute). In CNN’s “Empowered Patient” segment they have an article titled, “If you get hit by a bus tomorrow”. Oh lord! If you keep reading these articles, you will only go from empowered to incapacitated.
- McDonalds - Keep My Grandmother Out of This!
Sometimes I am filled with such ire, such disgust for a commercial that I can’t wait to unleash my venom all over the place. I did a two day search trying to find a video clip for the McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Sandwich that had me so heated. I couldn’t find a clip but I did find another blog post that says it all.
- Project Red Light
I love the LA Times headline, “Shia LaBeouf didn’t cause car wreck. But he does have daddy issues.” Ok - so his Dad was a heroin addict. He is an alcoholic. But please, let’s give Shia some props for being the only one to benefit (survive) from the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck/Miramax reality tv trainwreck.
- The Miley Conspiracy
Miley’s label and/or management (Dad?) are up to some sloppy media manipulation. First, she as wholesome as Kelloggs Corn Flakes. Then she releases some whorish song that disappears. Then! She is all hurt and violated (please!) by Annie Leibovitz for exposing Miley’s virginal shoulders for Vanity Fair. In the same magazine, she brags about her media business savvy. Hmm…Lastly, the same whorish song is re-released and articles are swirling that she is “the next Madonna.” Unless I see Miley french-kiss Dakota Fanning while promoting her porno shoot with Lil Wayne (because the real Ms M is all about blatant promotion) , I am certain this is all some over the top marketing ploy.
- Screw Pfizer! Eat Watermelon!
Millions of women who suffer from depression are going to read this: “Viagra helpful to women on antidepressants, study finds” and rush to their doctor for a script of the little blue pill. Chances are that the pill’s effect is similar to a placebo…if it took 10 years to prove the connection. The same study was funded by the humanitarian interests (I’m sure) of Pfizer. Since we now know that Watermelon shares the same active ingredient as Viagra, Dr CMart suggests that all of these women take their depressed asses to Costco and load up on some fruit.
