Dive into the archives.
- SNL Weekend Update with Senator Palin!
McCain’s choice in running mate is hill-lair-rious!
- Seriously! WTF! WTF!
“Clinton’s Name Will Be Put in Nomination?” Seriously? She lost fair and square. If Clinton wins. If Obama loses. (now its a possibility - I’ve seen enough political thriller movies to know) I will personally get on a plane, fly to Illinois, rent a car from Enterprise, drive out and bitch slap Barack. And I will double bitch slap Michelle for not keeping her man in line.
You would never, ever see some white politician “feel bad” and kowtow like this to the opposing party.
- Very Graceful, Camera Girl
This shit is hilarious. I’m reading the LA Times blog on the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter video tapes. That line is far more humorous than the Edwards’ “Ken Doll” comment.
- Motown, Been Mowed Down
(No surprise that both the Arsonist and I rushed to comment on Kwame)
I have an impeccable eye for real estate. Mark my words, Detroit is a good investment. The main reason it is such a pile of crap at the moment is thanks to their Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick. Well - Mr Kwame (why does that name make me think of hip hop circa 1989 and polka dotted shirts?) has been thrown in jail. And if Sharpe James (yet another black mayor in lockdown. Sheesh!) and the turn around in Newark is any indication, then Motown has plenty of possibilities. Let’s thank the Detroit Free Press for this amusing article, “Mayors sent to jail while in office.” What a read!
- Go somewhere and chill!
The Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick just can’t get right. Ordered to Jail on bond violation.
What the hell is in Canada that’s so important.
The Arsonist has been to Canada. Except for some signs in french, reminds me alot of…..America.
- Reconsider: Republican Presidents Are Good for Business & Wall Street.
Dubya really threw the US into the toilet, didn’t he? I thought Republican’s mandate was strong for small business, strengthening the economy, conservative fiscal spending… I hope all of those people who waited for iPhones for 8 hours this week will wait on line to vote. Hmm…”vote and get a free iPhone”.
- Craigs List: “I’m Your Pusher”
Can you imagine circling a job in the New York Times help wanted section that read “Seeking Administrative Assistant for Cocaine Friendly Law Firm?”
This from Craigs List, under crew, “Seeking 420 Friendly Film Staff (no pay sorry! possible intern credit?)”. You should see all the responsibilities and time commitment required for this poor sap. And they want him/her to do this, stoned, in time for Sundance due date? At least coke will increase your productivity.
Out of curiosity I did a search on the origins of the term “420″ and found this link.
- TRAILER!!!!!
Everyone knows I heart TMZ, aka Hard News Reporting. Before I begin my Fourth of July festivities, I wanted to share this with my people: “Cindy Brady - Grown Up, About to Throw Up“.
Cindy is no longer selling seashells by the seashore…she’s probably selling crystal meth.
- The Illegitimate Government
George W Bush calls the presidential runoff election in Zimbabwe a “sham”. Well, ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black.
- Crazy Like A Fox
Fox News. Fair and Balanced? Sure.
If, however, you took issue with Fox reporters calling Mrs. Obama, “Obama’s baby mama” or their victory pound, as a “terrorist fist jab”, send Roger Ailes (President of Fox News) a letter. It’s so easy to do.
- Dubya: 3 Years Late. Several Dollars Short.
Um - how many more days must we suffer “the fool on the hill?”
Anyway, wondrous Dubya (aka the Prez) announced today that he vowed to speed up relief for flood victims in the Midwest. Seeing as people in Louisiana are still homeless from Katrina, perhaps we should further inspect exactly what he means by “Speed”. He’ll probably mention “the good ol’ times”.
ps the answer is 216 Days.
- Spin Baby Spin!
Thanks to Scott McClellan, we know just how much to trust the Bush administration spokespersons. Scott Stanzel, speaking for the White House, defined our economy as “slow growth, but still positive“. I just can’t wait until he’s fired and writes a tell-all book. As Judge Milian would say, “I wouldn’t believe you if your tongue came notarized”.
- Poor Hillary
(Warning - this post links to Youtube, more than once)
Poor Hillary. Yeah I said it. The Arsonist has largely refrained from commenting on the politics of the day. Save that Oprah post back in the day. And we haven’t heard a peep from her since I did… so whose got the power?
Now anyone with half a brain knows that Hillary is a “wild dude”. If the RFK statement didn’t cement it for you then nothing will.
Barack might be a “wild dude” too, but goddamit if he isn’t a smooth ass liar. Or didn’t you hear. A big part of politics is lying. Unintentional or otherwise. And when he’s really lying, boy is he bad at it. Hillary is bad at it too. Sounds like she’s just making it up as she goes along. Be she doesn’t care. She wants to be president reaaaaal bad.
No one ever didn’t care about lying more than George W. He seems mad that he actually has to take the time to lie because he’d prefer not to lie if you’d just let him do what he thinks he wants to do, or something like that.
- Nuevo Puerto Rico!
I just watched “Recount” on HBO which tells the incredible story of the 2000 election and how (thanks to Florida), Dubya weaseled his way into the White House and into hearts. And now here we are again, Florida meddling in affairs and screwing with the election process. What we need to do is demote Florida. They can be a part of the USA just without all of the perks. Consider them the New Puerto Rico. Brilliant.
- Run For the Border
I read somewhere that Mexicans sneaking illegally into the grand ol’ USA was decreasing not thanks to border patrol but because the US economy was so poor. In a somewhat related note, I was amused (not) that McCain is all fired up to discuss the nuclear arms race which essentially is a non-news item. Focusing so much energy (pun) on this, while we still have Katrina, the economy, housing market, Iraq/Afghanistan vets etc to deal with is like being diagnosed with cancer and the doctor wanting to discuss your hay fever.
- MySpace? MyPlace?
Ashley Alexandra Dupre’s MySpace page will probably be the hottest page this month. I am just tickled that she was paid $1000/hr as a prostitute, had an apartment in the Flatiron district and had no idea she was sleeping with Eliot Spitzer. Remind me again: what is the purpose of my Ivy League education and Masters Degree?
[tags]Eliot Spitzer, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, Prostitute[/tags]
- Client #9
I really don’t have anything to add regarding Eliot Spitzer. I think its hilarious. I’m not actually shocked (it’s always the uptight boys with the most skeletons in their closets). My only wish was that for once, one of these politicians’ wives would say “screw you” and not do the mea culpa press conference.
Probably the best part of this is that NY will now have a Black Blind Governor. That’s pretty cool.
[tags]Eliot Spitzer, Prostitution Ring, Scandal!, David A Patterson[/tags]
- The George W Bush Presidential Library
Dubya has decided to house his Presidential library at Southern Methodist University in Dallas.
[tags]George Bush, Dubya, Southern Methodist University, Literature[/tags]
