Dive into the archives.
- Life After Film School
Here I am, enjoying Hulu, until one program thoroughly pisses me off. Have you checked out “Life After Film School”. Can’t we at least PRETEND that black or female filmmakers matter? Where the hell is “token”? Are you telling me that Spike said no to publicity? Sheet. Exactly what stories could Kevin Bacon share that would be more educational and entertaining than say, Marcia Gay Harden? KB, I’m sure you’re proud of your Teen Choice Award, but its not quite the same as an Oscar.
I’ll bet you one “person” knows of every black filmmaker who went to film school: Sallie Mae.
- Missing From Google?
Ok. Let’s say I have this friend. She likes to google herself when she’s bored. This certain friend on a whim yahoo’d herself and found content that google does not have. She even copied the headline article she found through Yahoo, put it in quotes and googled it and received an error message. “Did not match any documents”. Am I the only one, I mean, is my friend the only one who has noticed that Google is not all that and a biscuit? Any IT people out there want to explain what is going on?
ps And no, she doesn’t feel blacklisted like some folks, but does find it curious.
- When You Think Voiceover
When the Hallmark Channel does a biopic of my life, I am expecting Morgan Freeman to do the voice-over. He’s a very youthful 71 and sounds more like God, then, uh God. (yes, I would know). I am hoping for his speedy recovery from a recent car accident. so he can get back to what he does best (interracial buddy movies and playing God). And as much as I love a good conspiracy, Oliver Stone should pause before taking on the Obama Hollywood Supporters Accident Conspiracy!!! (say with echo voice).
Note to LA Times, this is a far stretch from “All The Presidents Men”
- The Fear Factor
The media’s incessant desire to scare the shit out of us is precisely why I hate the media (technically, I am also part of the “media” but let’s over look that for a minute). In CNN’s “Empowered Patient” segment they have an article titled, “If you get hit by a bus tomorrow”. Oh lord! If you keep reading these articles, you will only go from empowered to incapacitated.
- McDonalds - Keep My Grandmother Out of This!
Sometimes I am filled with such ire, such disgust for a commercial that I can’t wait to unleash my venom all over the place. I did a two day search trying to find a video clip for the McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Sandwich that had me so heated. I couldn’t find a clip but I did find another blog post that says it all.
- Project Red Light
I love the LA Times headline, “Shia LaBeouf didn’t cause car wreck. But he does have daddy issues.” Ok - so his Dad was a heroin addict. He is an alcoholic. But please, let’s give Shia some props for being the only one to benefit (survive) from the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck/Miramax reality tv trainwreck.
- The Miley Conspiracy
Miley’s label and/or management (Dad?) are up to some sloppy media manipulation. First, she as wholesome as Kelloggs Corn Flakes. Then she releases some whorish song that disappears. Then! She is all hurt and violated (please!) by Annie Leibovitz for exposing Miley’s virginal shoulders for Vanity Fair. In the same magazine, she brags about her media business savvy. Hmm…Lastly, the same whorish song is re-released and articles are swirling that she is “the next Madonna.” Unless I see Miley french-kiss Dakota Fanning while promoting her porno shoot with Lil Wayne (because the real Ms M is all about blatant promotion) , I am certain this is all some over the top marketing ploy.
- Screw Pfizer! Eat Watermelon!
Millions of women who suffer from depression are going to read this: “Viagra helpful to women on antidepressants, study finds” and rush to their doctor for a script of the little blue pill. Chances are that the pill’s effect is similar to a placebo…if it took 10 years to prove the connection. The same study was funded by the humanitarian interests (I’m sure) of Pfizer. Since we now know that Watermelon shares the same active ingredient as Viagra, Dr CMart suggests that all of these women take their depressed asses to Costco and load up on some fruit.
- Janet Jackson: “Fleeting Material”
A court recently overturned the $550,000 fine against CBS for airing the notorious Justin/Janet Super Bowl fiasco. Considering how JJ’s career is doing lately (c’mon, I LOVED Penny, but we all know that if she weren’t a Jackson, that voice of hers wouldn’t have made it through the first rounds of “America’s Got Talent”), she’d probably rather be known as flashing some indecent nip than being labeled “fleeting.”
- Reconsider: Republican Presidents Are Good for Business & Wall Street.
Dubya really threw the US into the toilet, didn’t he? I thought Republican’s mandate was strong for small business, strengthening the economy, conservative fiscal spending… I hope all of those people who waited for iPhones for 8 hours this week will wait on line to vote. Hmm…”vote and get a free iPhone”.
- That’s 20K - Fed
If you are a man with dreams of making a lot of money without having any skill set (whats so ever) Los Angeles is the place for you. I first really noticed this during the OJ trials and the introduction of Kato to our social vernacular. Now another “K” is keeping it real by doing a hella lot of nothing to the tune of $20k/month.
- Sambo Was Getting All the Honeys
All of my life, I have felt bad about the Sambo character. But no more! After reading this article in the Science Daily, I actually suspect Sambo was the Original Ladies Man, the man who coined “once you go black…”
He knew the true power and, uh, natural lift from watermelon.
Whose got the last laugh now?
- Going to IKEA to get my Fix
If IKEA was smart, they would have built their new store in Red Hook by a “legalize it” or medicinal marijuana shop (I have no idea if they exist in Brooklyn, but I bet the fellows from the Craigs List ad below do), so at least pedestrians would spend some cash in an attempt to cure their munchies with a hot dog and Swedish meatballs.
Where else does that free shuttle go? I need a lift to JFK.
- Seriously! No What?
Filed under a similar WTF sentiment, I had the displeasure of watching a few minutes of “House of Payne” this evening. I watched shuffling feet, bulging eyes…Being black in America is just like being part of a big dysfunctional family. You attend the family reunion and there is always that drunk uncle that hits on your boyfriend and gets rib juice on the lemon pound cake.
- Don’t Spare the Rod
I read on the cover of, was it the Post? Daily News?, that Cynthia Rodriguez (aka C-Rod) blames Madonna for A Rod’s infidelity and their pending divorce. I hope that’s not true. It’s not like Madonna (who my dear friend affectionately calls “Grandma”) is a saint or “blessed virgin”, but for once, women need to stop blaming each other when a man’s “head” goes astray. He was a whore before he met Madonna and will be a whore after.
- Craigs List: “I’m Your Pusher”
Can you imagine circling a job in the New York Times help wanted section that read “Seeking Administrative Assistant for Cocaine Friendly Law Firm?”
This from Craigs List, under crew, “Seeking 420 Friendly Film Staff (no pay sorry! possible intern credit?)”. You should see all the responsibilities and time commitment required for this poor sap. And they want him/her to do this, stoned, in time for Sundance due date? At least coke will increase your productivity.
Out of curiosity I did a search on the origins of the term “420″ and found this link.
- The Illegitimate Government
George W Bush calls the presidential runoff election in Zimbabwe a “sham”. Well, ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black.
- Crazy Like A Fox
Fox News. Fair and Balanced? Sure.
If, however, you took issue with Fox reporters calling Mrs. Obama, “Obama’s baby mama” or their victory pound, as a “terrorist fist jab”, send Roger Ailes (President of Fox News) a letter. It’s so easy to do.
- “He’s A Lovely Kid”
Imus is back. Open mouth insert foot. Apparently, his intent on asking “What color is he” (in regards to the sixth arrests of Dallas Cowboys Adam Jones) was to show he is down with the people, he understands the struggles of blacks in America. I don’t want Al Sharpton speaking for me so I sure as hell don’t want Imus speaking for me. Imus - you’re back. Not black.
- Only in LA
This article reads like a 1950s Beach Bongo Bonanza sort of movie. Paparazzo is attacked by a group of surfers. All I am missing is for this rough violent gang of Abecrombie and Fitch types to break out into song and twist the night away.
