Dive into the archives.
- Very Graceful, Camera Girl
This shit is hilarious. I’m reading the LA Times blog on the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter video tapes. That line is far more humorous than the Edwards’ “Ken Doll” comment.
- WTF? Holy Sh*t…..
Were the Arsonists exact reactions when hearing that Bernie died this morning.
While not a huge Bernie fan there was something comforting about knowing that a seemingly run- of -the -mill guy was out there hob-nobbing with Brad Pitt and George Clooney in Hollywood movies. Bernie even held down the lead in a couple of his own flicks including a romantic comedy masquerading as a sports movie. That would be Mr. 3000. for the film purists out there.
The Arsonist had more than a chuckle on a few of Bernie’s stand up routines. In particular his “I’ll fuck a kid up” routine. As often, The Arsonist feels like doing these little cretins in too.
Bernie had a comedy classic in him somewhere. Wish we could have seen him get the chance to make it.
- Bucket Of Chicken Defense
As a kid, nearly every summer The Arsonist was loaded into somebodys Lincoln, Caddy or Electra 225 with several family members and we would make our way from the north to the south. As if on a pilgrimage.
I remember the summer of 78′ was when The Arsonist bought an eight track tape of Bootzilla from a guy carrying them around in a cardboard box. It wasn’t til the 90’s that it was apparent to me that he was a bootleger. He had always been a hero to the Arsonist. Bootsy too, but thats because he was “maker of funky things to play with”
Some of the family was less fortunate than others. So one half of the family would have homemade fried chicken to travel with and the other half would stop at KFC, which was known as Kentucky Fried Chicken at time, and pick up a bucket of chicken. For whatever reason this bucket of chicken seemed to last forever. I don’t think they counted how many pieces they put in back in the 70’s they just shoved as much as they could in a bucket. Either that or they knew when they saw 5 adults and 4 children spill out of an American luxury car in the parking lot, that they better feed these people well or see them again on the way back.
- Don’t Spare the Rod
I read on the cover of, was it the Post? Daily News?, that Cynthia Rodriguez (aka C-Rod) blames Madonna for A Rod’s infidelity and their pending divorce. I hope that’s not true. It’s not like Madonna (who my dear friend affectionately calls “Grandma”) is a saint or “blessed virgin”, but for once, women need to stop blaming each other when a man’s “head” goes astray. He was a whore before he met Madonna and will be a whore after.
- Crazy Like A Fox
Fox News. Fair and Balanced? Sure.
If, however, you took issue with Fox reporters calling Mrs. Obama, “Obama’s baby mama” or their victory pound, as a “terrorist fist jab”, send Roger Ailes (President of Fox News) a letter. It’s so easy to do.
- “He’s A Lovely Kid”
Imus is back. Open mouth insert foot. Apparently, his intent on asking “What color is he” (in regards to the sixth arrests of Dallas Cowboys Adam Jones) was to show he is down with the people, he understands the struggles of blacks in America. I don’t want Al Sharpton speaking for me so I sure as hell don’t want Imus speaking for me. Imus - you’re back. Not black.
- Man Googled ‘how to kill’
Headline of the day.
- Dubya: 3 Years Late. Several Dollars Short.
Um - how many more days must we suffer “the fool on the hill?”
Anyway, wondrous Dubya (aka the Prez) announced today that he vowed to speed up relief for flood victims in the Midwest. Seeing as people in Louisiana are still homeless from Katrina, perhaps we should further inspect exactly what he means by “Speed”. He’ll probably mention “the good ol’ times”.
ps the answer is 216 Days.
- Penny Wise. Delta Foolish.
All I’m gonna say is, I’m glad I’m not an airline. This, from the New York Times, is one of Delta’s plans to deal with rising costs of running an airline.
“Up in the cockpit, Delta is studying whether it is feasible to divide the heavy pilot manuals required on each flight between the captain and first officer, so pilots are not toting duplicate sets of five or six books that each weigh about a pound and a half.”
This is not to save on paper but to make the planes lighter and hence requiring less fuel to fly. Next they will be charging us for toilet paper. Or eliminating it all together.
- I Must Be Korean
We both hate Kobe.
Koreans are disgusted by American Beef.
I am disgusted by American Bryant.
(ok - he is an amazing player and the Lakers will probably get another ring. But I still can’t stand him).
- Poor Hillary
(Warning - this post links to Youtube, more than once)
Poor Hillary. Yeah I said it. The Arsonist has largely refrained from commenting on the politics of the day. Save that Oprah post back in the day. And we haven’t heard a peep from her since I did… so whose got the power?
Now anyone with half a brain knows that Hillary is a “wild dude”. If the RFK statement didn’t cement it for you then nothing will.
Barack might be a “wild dude” too, but goddamit if he isn’t a smooth ass liar. Or didn’t you hear. A big part of politics is lying. Unintentional or otherwise. And when he’s really lying, boy is he bad at it. Hillary is bad at it too. Sounds like she’s just making it up as she goes along. Be she doesn’t care. She wants to be president reaaaaal bad.
No one ever didn’t care about lying more than George W. He seems mad that he actually has to take the time to lie because he’d prefer not to lie if you’d just let him do what he thinks he wants to do, or something like that.
- Nuevo Puerto Rico!
I just watched “Recount” on HBO which tells the incredible story of the 2000 election and how (thanks to Florida), Dubya weaseled his way into the White House and into hearts. And now here we are again, Florida meddling in affairs and screwing with the election process. What we need to do is demote Florida. They can be a part of the USA just without all of the perks. Consider them the New Puerto Rico. Brilliant.
- Run For the Border
I read somewhere that Mexicans sneaking illegally into the grand ol’ USA was decreasing not thanks to border patrol but because the US economy was so poor. In a somewhat related note, I was amused (not) that McCain is all fired up to discuss the nuclear arms race which essentially is a non-news item. Focusing so much energy (pun) on this, while we still have Katrina, the economy, housing market, Iraq/Afghanistan vets etc to deal with is like being diagnosed with cancer and the doctor wanting to discuss your hay fever.
- Bump, Grind, Do Time
I know I am going to ruffle some black folks’ feathers like cutting the line on All You Can Eat BBQ Ribs night in the church basement, but I really see no need for R Kelly. I find him revolting. Hardly a artistic contribution to society. This damn case has been dragging on for forever. Let’s put him behind bars already…or send him to Austria.
[tags]R Kelly, Porn, Pedophile[/tags]
- Why All of the Banks in NYC?
This is really beginning to piss me off. Not like I’d ever eat there, but the BBQ by NYU on 8th street is now a bank. And we all KNOW that place never lacked for gluttonous (big boned) well paying customers. So Bank of America just announced a 77% decline in profits for their first quarter. Citigroup posted a loss of over $5 billion. My financial books look better than theirs but I can’t buy a condo in Manhattan? Fuck em. I hope every one of them goes bankrupt. Has to collect food stamps.
The only karma correct solution CMart will accept is if the banks turn over their real estate holdings for artist housing. Enough already.
[tags]Banking, Chase, Bank of America, Citibank[/tags]
- Pick-a-Problem
No matter how bad you may be feeling, someone is doing worse.
From CNN: “Wachovia Corp.’s (WB) controversial Pick-a-Payment mortgage program lets borrowers choose between four monthly payment amounts. Unfortunately for Wachovia, these “Pick-a-Pay” borrowers are increasingly inventing a fifth choice: Not making mortgage payments at all.”
[tags]Wachovia, Mortgage, Default, Banks[/tags]
- Maxim Foolishness
I just read in the Times about some big author whose autobiography is one big fat lie. Sadly, I am becoming desensitized to this. Now, I read on one of my favorite blogs, MusicMarketing.com, that Maxim Magazine lies about their album reviews? I could care less about Maxim. I doubt their subscribers buy it “for the articles” so maybe they should stop writing them.
[tags]Maxim, Lies, Love and Consequences, Margaret B Jones, Margaret Seltzer, James Kaminsky, Black Crowes[/tags]
- Beauty & the Beast: EWH!!!
James Barbour, some Bway actor has been sentenced for sexual misconduct with a 15 year old girl. But what reads like an episode of Law and Order: SVU, is his audacity to say the girl was the aggressor and used this to her advantage. Pathetic little man!
[tags] Beauty and the Beast, Disney, Statutory Rape, Pedophile, James Barbour[/tags]
- Ford is Shameless!!!
I’m in the agonizing process of watching the new “Knight Rider”. My friends and I are in absolute hysterics that in the first chase scene every single car in the chase or on the road is a Ford. What a way to break the 4th wall. Product placement sucks. However the KITT wardrobe change was cool.
[tags]Ford, Product Placement, KITT, Knight Rider[/tags]
- Best Thing on TV
I’d rather watch color bars than “Deal or No Deal”. Most of what is on television sucks. Apparently, this time next year, all networks will go digital leaving an estimated 14million viewers without a signal (unless they upgrade to a digital signal and tv). Most of those viewers are hispanic…On a similar note, I’ve read that the number of illegal immigrants is decreasing because the American economy sucks. Couple that with nothing on television, and really? What’s the point of living here?
