Dive into the archives.
- Pour Some Suge On Me
Surprise. Surprise. Suge Knight is arrested. Again. Honestly, I am sorry to hear about his girlfriend’s beat down but what the hell was she thinking? “Oh - I’m gonna change him cuz I’m special?”
- Akeelah and the Ball
All I am saying is, its nice that folks are working. Ice Cube is “keeping it real, keeping it raw” alongside Keke Palmer in this summer’s smash hit, #1 black comedy based on a sport summer movie, “The Longshots”. As Dre would say “been there, done that”.
- Young, Ungifted and Stupid
Marketing these days is completely beyond the pale. But The Arsonist has never understood todays measure of success in any reasonable fashion anyway.
This “Be Kanye” brain trust is the latest example of things run amok.
While the The Arsonist is in favor of the 40 Year Old Virgin credo of tackling “drunk bitches”, one would figure that Kanye doesn’t need to “cougar it up” as it is implied in this ridiculous campaign from Absolut vodka.
When Jay-Z and them started getting their own vodka’s, you know the people at Absolut must have been laughing their asses off.
But judging by this complete capitulation to pop culture the only thing that comes to mind is, who’s laughing now bitches.
- Life After Film School
Here I am, enjoying Hulu, until one program thoroughly pisses me off. Have you checked out “Life After Film School”. Can’t we at least PRETEND that black or female filmmakers matter? Where the hell is “token”? Are you telling me that Spike said no to publicity? Sheet. Exactly what stories could Kevin Bacon share that would be more educational and entertaining than say, Marcia Gay Harden? KB, I’m sure you’re proud of your Teen Choice Award, but its not quite the same as an Oscar.
I’ll bet you one “person” knows of every black filmmaker who went to film school: Sallie Mae.
- Project Red Light
I love the LA Times headline, “Shia LaBeouf didn’t cause car wreck. But he does have daddy issues.” Ok - so his Dad was a heroin addict. He is an alcoholic. But please, let’s give Shia some props for being the only one to benefit (survive) from the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck/Miramax reality tv trainwreck.
- The Miley Conspiracy
Miley’s label and/or management (Dad?) are up to some sloppy media manipulation. First, she as wholesome as Kelloggs Corn Flakes. Then she releases some whorish song that disappears. Then! She is all hurt and violated (please!) by Annie Leibovitz for exposing Miley’s virginal shoulders for Vanity Fair. In the same magazine, she brags about her media business savvy. Hmm…Lastly, the same whorish song is re-released and articles are swirling that she is “the next Madonna.” Unless I see Miley french-kiss Dakota Fanning while promoting her porno shoot with Lil Wayne (because the real Ms M is all about blatant promotion) , I am certain this is all some over the top marketing ploy.
- Janet Jackson: “Fleeting Material”
A court recently overturned the $550,000 fine against CBS for airing the notorious Justin/Janet Super Bowl fiasco. Considering how JJ’s career is doing lately (c’mon, I LOVED Penny, but we all know that if she weren’t a Jackson, that voice of hers wouldn’t have made it through the first rounds of “America’s Got Talent”), she’d probably rather be known as flashing some indecent nip than being labeled “fleeting.”
- That’s 20K - Fed
If you are a man with dreams of making a lot of money without having any skill set (whats so ever) Los Angeles is the place for you. I first really noticed this during the OJ trials and the introduction of Kato to our social vernacular. Now another “K” is keeping it real by doing a hella lot of nothing to the tune of $20k/month.
- Sambo Was Getting All the Honeys
All of my life, I have felt bad about the Sambo character. But no more! After reading this article in the Science Daily, I actually suspect Sambo was the Original Ladies Man, the man who coined “once you go black…”
He knew the true power and, uh, natural lift from watermelon.
Whose got the last laugh now?
- Seriously! No What?
Filed under a similar WTF sentiment, I had the displeasure of watching a few minutes of “House of Payne” this evening. I watched shuffling feet, bulging eyes…Being black in America is just like being part of a big dysfunctional family. You attend the family reunion and there is always that drunk uncle that hits on your boyfriend and gets rib juice on the lemon pound cake.
- Don’t Spare the Rod
I read on the cover of, was it the Post? Daily News?, that Cynthia Rodriguez (aka C-Rod) blames Madonna for A Rod’s infidelity and their pending divorce. I hope that’s not true. It’s not like Madonna (who my dear friend affectionately calls “Grandma”) is a saint or “blessed virgin”, but for once, women need to stop blaming each other when a man’s “head” goes astray. He was a whore before he met Madonna and will be a whore after.
- TRAILER!!!!!
Everyone knows I heart TMZ, aka Hard News Reporting. Before I begin my Fourth of July festivities, I wanted to share this with my people: “Cindy Brady - Grown Up, About to Throw Up“.
Cindy is no longer selling seashells by the seashore…she’s probably selling crystal meth.
- “He’s A Lovely Kid”
Imus is back. Open mouth insert foot. Apparently, his intent on asking “What color is he” (in regards to the sixth arrests of Dallas Cowboys Adam Jones) was to show he is down with the people, he understands the struggles of blacks in America. I don’t want Al Sharpton speaking for me so I sure as hell don’t want Imus speaking for me. Imus - you’re back. Not black.
- Let’s Bow Our Heads For A Moment to…
say whatever the fuck we God damn want to.
George, you will be missed.
- Bye George
The Arsonist loved George Carlin. Some of the more acerbic wit displayed on these posts come directly from this man. The Arsonist is a biter, plain and simple.
Well known for his “Seven Dirty Words…” routine, George Carlin was far more than this one routine.
In fact, when The Arsonist thinks of George Carlin, the early days of HBO come to mind, when a single program could be seen 17 times in a day.
One particular HBO comedy special featured many comedians and one I’d never heard of named George Carlin. At the time The Arsonist only really knew that Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx stood on a stage and told jokes.
To this day I cant get near an airport without hearing George Carlin’s voice echoing in my head (paraphrasing) “The stewardess says, “get on the plane, get on the plane” F*ck you I’m getting IN the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane!” The 90 times or so The Arsonist saw that routine never made it any less hilarious.
But The Arsonist was just a stupid kid, so what did he know.
- Richard Branson to the Rescue?
I heart Branson. What makes him so perfect and rich is he makes daring, bold moves while competitors go the easy, safe and tightwad route. So, American Airlines, United and US Airways are all charging for the first checked bag. AND US Air is charging for non-alcoholic drinks! MARK my words: BOYCOTT! And let’s see if Virgin Atlantic has anything to say about this.
- Sing-a-Long: Italians
It’s been a while since I did a sing-a-long. This one is dedicated to all of the Italians with too much time on their hands and too lazy to find a real cause. (Seriously, if anyone thinks negatively of Italian-Americans it is NOT because they watched “Jungle Fever” too many times.)
Sing!
What’sa matta you, hey!
Gotta no respect, whatta you think you do,
Why you looka so sad?
It’s-a not so bad, it’s-a nice-a place,
Ah, Shaddap You Face!
- Hmmmmm!
The Arsonist wonders what Amy Winehouse might do with 2 Million Dollars .
- I Must Be Korean
We both hate Kobe.
Koreans are disgusted by American Beef.
I am disgusted by American Bryant.
(ok - he is an amazing player and the Lakers will probably get another ring. But I still can’t stand him).
- Can’t Get Right
What’s not to love about Naomi Campbell. The Arsonist admires her consistency.
